Home sweet home

Well, we gathered at church last night for chapter 4 of our current book study. The weeks just get better and better! The main theme of the chapter was about "putting too much in your wagon, that you can no longer do what God is asking of you". I won't quote the story she told, because it was like a page and a half long, but I will share one thing I found interesting. The first class that I attended, one of the ladies said, "I assume that we all work outside of the home, which is why we are all studying this book"...and I remember thinking, ummmm.....nope! Then the facilitator of the group asked, "Do we have anyone that stays at home?". Three of us reluctantly raised our hands. I have to admit, I had a mix of feelings at that moment...guilt for being able to stay home...fear that people would assume staying home equaled total laziness on the couch with a bowl of ice cream watching the soaps...and awkwardness for once again being one of the "few and far between"ers. Those feelings held on for a couple of weeks, until I really got into this chapter. I began to remember the years that I worked outside the home, and prayed for the Lord to miraculously change things so that I would be able to stay home with my children. How my heart broke to put our oldest in daycare at 6 weeks, so we could have two incomes (only to realize down the road that the check went out as fast as it came in, to pay the daycare). I remember those ten hour days that I put in at my last job...giving 120% to people who might not even remember my name at this point. Then coming home exhausted, to my two kids and my husband, and having nothing left to give but yawns and a snappy attitude. I took a look in my proverbial wagon this week, and for the first time in my life, I actually realized that the yoke WAS easy and the burden WAS light...just the way it was meant to be. Then I gave myself a swift kick in the backside for giving a second of my attention to the lie that the world tries to jam down our throats as woman and mothers. I realize that there are many woman that would love to be home, but for some, it isn't an option at this point for various reasons. That is why, all the more, I feel so very blessed to be able to be home with my kids...and provide a peaceful, healthy atmosphere for the ones I hold so dear...this is truly one of the best seasons, so far, in my life.

"Parra-ese"

Growing up a Kellish, there were, as in many households, several forbidden words. I am not talking the obvious curse words, but there were just some words that were not acceptable ways to express ourselves. "Zit", the "f" word for flatulence, and "crap" (sorry Mom!) to name a few off the top of my head. Well, following suit, there are some off limit words in the Parra home as well. One of those being the word "stupid". Now, I probably should have clarified to the boys from the get go that I meant that you can't call other people "stupid", but I really didn't think about it. As a result, any mention of that word gets a loud gasping reaction out of their tiny mouths. I have been known to talk about "stupid events", "stupid actions", etc, now and again. It is a regular word on Sponge Bob and other of the newly discovered cartoons. So if you come to our house, and hear gasping...relax, no one is choking...the word police are on duty! Another term we don't use is the slang for passing gas. I guess Mom transferred her dislike for that "f" word on to me and it stuck! But, being a regular bodily function in our home, due to the high bean intake (haha), we were in need of an acceptable substitute. I thought of going with the Poston cousins' version, "Poot"...but it just didn't work for me. I thought we could just say gas, but, I don't know...just didn't have the right ring. So what we settled on is Toot. Cute and short. So be forewarned...if you come to our house "Tooting your own horn" or eating Tutti fruity anything, expect to hear a few giggles out of my boys! And if you say Fa@#, they won't have a clue what you are talking about!

as an aside: I don't know WHAT possessed me to write on this subject. I need to write something else, fast, so this isn't the first story that some people read! Terrible first impression!!!! haha

Book 'em!

Josh was tickled today, as we had a really fun science lesson. We are learning about how we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" in his Discovering God's World science book. Today's lesson was about fingerprints, (right up my forensics alley!!) and up until this morning, Josh had no idea what he held in his hands! I guess I just assumed he knew what I was constantly wiping off the TV screen and windows, but to my surprise, he had no idea! To make the lesson come to life, I pulled out our washable markers, and began coloring his fingertips...we hadn't started reading yet, so he was giving me a "Mom, I thought I wasn't supposed to write on my skin!" look, yet, enjoying the rule bending at the same time! I then proceeded to roll his fingers on an index card, revealing the loops and swirls of his little fingerprints. His eyes opened wide, and had me do it several times, in different colors. He was also amazed to learn that no one else had the same pattern as he did. It was a good lesson in how special we all are!! As a bonus, if he ever decides to go into law enforcement, or work for immigration, he's got the booking/biometric procedure down! :)

Dominos

I am on a mission! A few months ago, I bought this fax/copier/scanner all-in-one machine, and I have been going CRAZY looking for the CD that came with it so I can start scanning photos to my computer. (Unfortunately, the driver is no longer available online for Window 98...I know...archaic!!) So I started searching in all of the obvious places...desk drawers...nightstand drawers...my kitchen "junk" cabinet...but to no avail! Then I started looking in some not-so-obvious places...underwear drawer...boys closets...boys bathroom cabinet (OK, I was getting desperate!)...while checking each place, I ended up cleaning that space, as, (shocker), it was NOT in the most ship-shape condition! Well, I have good news!!! No, I still haven't found the CD...but my house is amazingly clean! I mean...places that I NEVER clean, are clean. I took out dresser drawers and vacuumed out the dust...the pantry is completely in order...my bedroom feels like a 5 star hotel room!!! I have come to the conclusion that I must have thrown the CD out in the box that everything came in. Oh well, I won't be scanning any of the gazillions of photos that I have, but tonight I'll be in the lap of luxury in my suite...wonder if it comes with room service and a massage for these aching muscles?!?!

Right between the eyes!

I have been attending a ladies Bible study for the past three weeks along with my sister and several other women from church. We are studying a book entitled "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World", by Joanne Weaver. I was really excited about the class when I signed up...sounded like a topic that was for "today's Christian woman"! The first class, the leader asked "How many "Martha's" do we have in this room? I scanned the room and realized that most of the hands were raised...mine, however, was not. I guess I didn't really consider myself the "Martha" type. I always imagined her as the June Cleaver of the Bible times...busy cleaning house, frantically preparing a meal for Jesus and his travelling companions...doing all those stereotypical womanly tasks...and to be honest, I really don't stress out over that sort of thing. If I had to be utterly truthful, I am not at all bothered if I sit down on the couch while the boys' toys are scattered around the living room...(that is, until there's an unexpected knock at the door, then I turn into this raving lunatic, heaving large quantities of "whatever" into the nearest closet!). I have to also admit, I enjoy the peaceful feeling of a clean house...but sometimes I settle for the "eclectic" (haha) style...OK, simply put, I can be pretty lazy! Week two came around, and I was feeling more like this class was not really going to benefit me at all...but I had committed to it, and so I decided that maybe I would learn something...some nugget that I could tuck in my pocket...to help some stressed out "Martha" that came across my path...(yes, that thought actually went through my head!). Anyway, this past Tuesday night, I picked up my book and dove into the third Chapter, entitled The Diagnosis. Within the first few sentences, I saw that the focus of this chapter was on worry and anxiety. As I ended the first page, I began to think back to when I was young. I was your classic "worry wart". You name it, I worried about it. If you didn't name it, I worried why you didn't!! Many of the (now) funny stories that I remember from my childhood, related to a specific fear I had. Fear of dogs, fear of being the center of attention, fear of the unknown...I was a chronic nail biter...always at Mom's hip...and had knots in my stomach several times a week over this or that. As I grew older, my child comforts were less accessible and/or proper, and my fears turned into what seemed like episodes on the brink of an anxiety attack...a terrible feeling, but never so far gone that I couldn't talk or pray myself out of it. Thankfully, by God's grace, I do not have those moments to that degree any longer. Sure, every once in while, fear will try to grip me when something out of the ordinary happens, but those are few and far between, and nothing like I used to experience. Anyway, I was reading this chapter, and finding my past, and some of my present mingling with the words. My fears were an inward battle, one that I didn't like to talk about...taboo...but as I read, I started to realize that this author thought a lot like me. I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was...or at least, I wasn't the only one! It was as though a light went on in my head, and scriptures that I had read many times before, suddenly illuminated the recesses of my heart's past, giving me an understanding that I never had before about the fears that used to, and sometimes still, capture my attention. One of the statements jumped right out at me...so simple...yet so profound at the same time...

"What we worry about": 40% are things that will never happen. 30% are about the past-which can't be changed. 12% are about criticism by others, mostly untrue. 10% are about health, which gets worse with stress. 8% are about real problems that can be solved."

I began to see my worries (past and present) for what they really were, and decided that if my worrying will not do a single thing to change the situation for the better, then why waste my time, energy, and health, worrying about it...turn it into a prayer and let God handle it. I can honestly say that once I let that truth take up residence in my heart, I was changed. I even physically felt different. I drove home the other night, a little after dusk, and I realized that for the first time since we moved back to S.C., I wasn't worried about hitting a deer, and what would Luis do when I was gone, and how would the children turn out without a Mom...I realized that my worrying about it, wasn't going to change the deer and his destination...but my prayers for safety could and would. And I also remember thinking that even if I did have an accident, that I can rest knowing that I and my family are in the Lord's hands, and I felt great peace. No beads of sweat...no white-knuckling the steering wheel. I am continually amazed at how much we can "know" something in our head, but it doesn't make that short journey to our heart...and I am also amazed at how quick we are to say that something "is not really for me"...but then, if we allow ourselves to get down to the real nitty-gritty, it's been the one thing that we have really needed all along. So, as you can probably imagine, I am looking forward to the next class. It's not for 6 days, and I have already read the next chapter. (This author and I must have met before!!) All I can say is that the Lord is gentle and kind and his ways are perfect. He knows when it is the appointed time to reveal a truth about us, to ourselves, in a way that won't throw us into a blind tail spin, but ever so kindly peels back the layers, reveals the wound, and applies the ointment...the balm that has the power to not only heal, but even remove the scars...for that, I am truly in awe.