Family pictures

It was a beautiful day today, so I forced convinced my family we needed to take some pictures. We haven't had a family picture since Lily was born (and she's two now) so these were long overdue. Enjoy!

Going on our walk

She looked a little like an Eskimo (or maybe Don King), but she was toasty warm!



Day 23 - Fired Up

I love my crock pots. I have two and I used them all the time. The larger one has a broken knob, but it still works. The only down side is that instead of being able to adjust the temperature to low or just keeping food warm, I only have the option of high. When I am done cooking something, I just unplug it from the wall, and the next time it's already set to high for whatever I need cooked.

We came home from church today, and the pinto beans were all done, simmering away in the crock pot. I was reminded of the scripture that says,

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea. These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." Revelation 3:14-18

I spooned the steaming beans over the rice, then pulled the cord out of the socket so the beans could cool down. Cold or hot. Those are my only two options. According to this scripture, God prefers us to be one or the other. In actuality, what it's saying is that God wants us to make a choice. To stand up and stand firm and decide who we are going to follow. All my young life I was a lukewarm Christian. I knew the truth, but I only followed it when it was convenient. I worked God around my life instead of working my life around God. Then, when life turned chaotic, I questioned God on His whereabouts, when it was really me who never drew closer to Him. Being lukewarm is a state of wavering. Sitting on the fence between Christ and the world. Giving less than 100% of our life to God. God says that being lukewarm is so detestable to Him that he would spit us out of His mouth if we were in that state. God wants us to be purposeful. He wants us to be passionate about Him. He wants everything, or nothing.

I am so thankful that I made the choice I did back in 1994 to be sold out for Christ without compromise. Life has not been trouble-free, but there has been a supernatural strength that has brought me through even the deepest valley. When I look back at all the wasted time of my youth, all I can think of is how much stronger I would be today had I taken a stand for Christ when I was younger. It gives me a healthy burden to pray earnestly for and teach my children that God is not just "church". In fact, church doesn't even scratch the surface as to what a life in Christ can really be. Until I stepped into a deeper relationship with Him, I didn't realize how much I was really missing and how much I lacked in my spiritual life. I am thankful that God granted me enough time to choose Him. In His mercy, he didn't allow my life to end while I was lukewarm, but led me to a place where I chose Him completely. A choice I will never regret.

Day 20 - Seasons

I'm half way through this 40 day fast, and it is going well. I am proud of myself that I have been able to stick with it completely (except for those couple mistakes early on). Physically, I feel great. I am full of energy. My body seems to really be benefitting from really healthy eating, and I do believe I have lost about ten pounds. Spiritually I have grown much closer to God, which was my prayer. I really desire to know God. Not just a head knowlegde, but a close intimate relationship. I know I am moving in the right direction and it is very exciting.

Today on my morning walk, I had a heart to heart with my Father. I was frustrated yesterday, feeling overwhelmed with life and certain difficulties we are facing. I am so thankful that I can be real with Him, and even express raw emotion, and He doesn't back away, shut down or fight back. As I was basically whining to God, I looked at all the leaves around me changing color and then I heard Him whisper,

"It's just a season."

Thank you Lord, because I needed to know that this wasn't going to be my life for the rest of my time here on this green planet. Seasons. They are wonderful, aren't they? We all have our favorites. Fall really is mine. The beauty of seasons is the constant change they bring. Each season possesses something splendid; the changing leaves in fall, peaceful snowflakes drifting in winter, stunning blooms in spring and the warm sunshine of summer. The earth is constantly changing, and no two seasons are ever perfectly alike. Even during the most difficult of seasons, like winter in central New York, or summer in the south, we know that eventually it is going to change. Never before have we had winter last a whole year, and, as much as my children think they would love it all year round, summer is only three months long. And just as our seasons on earth are constantly in transition, so too are the seasons of life. Good or bad, we are just passing through these seasons. It is up to us to make the best of each one, take the good with the bad and learn all we can. Living through hard seasons while clinging to God makes us stronger and more prepared for the next season be it easy or difficult. I am trying not to despise this season of my life. With all it's ups and downs, I am trying so hard to enjoy the ride. I am trying to soak in the good, (because there is so much good!), and trying to objectively take the bad in stride. One thing I have learned from difficult seasons is that I really get to see the condition of my fruit during those trying times. Sometimes it's delectible fruit without a blemish, and other times it's rotten, nasty fruit that makes me cringe at the sight if it. I need to learn how to be thankful for every season in my life. How to gleen from each day, and lean on the Lord when I blow it. Most of all, through all the changing seasons and times, I need to remember that God is my constant, my rock, my anchor that I can hold on to when nothing else seems to be sure.

In my daily Bible reading I was reminded of the goodness of the Lord.

"But you, Israel, My servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham My friend, You whom I [the Lord] have taken from the ends of the earth and have called from the corners of it, and said to you, You are My servant--I have chosen you and not cast you off [even though you are exiled]. Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice." Isaiah 41:8-10.



Day 17 - Control

"God is in control". I have heard this all my life from people in all walks of life. So you can imagine my surprise when our Pastor said the other day "God is not in control". Yes, that shook my theology a bit until I continued to listen to his reasoning. He went on to say, (and I am paraphrasing), that although God is the creator and ruler of all, He has delegated control and dominion to us, mere humans, dust. So really, you and I are, to some extent, in control. If you think about it, it really explains a lot of the "mysteries" of life. Why children are abused. Why innocent people are murdered. I mean, God, who is love, surely would not choose for these things and a whole mess of other things to happen. So it leaves us to ponder the idea of who really is in control. Way back at the beginning of creation, God established free will. Adam and Eve had it. You and I have it. I could, at this very moment, choose to do anything. I could have chosen not to walk this morning because of the rain. I could have chosen to eat that fried chicken yesterday instead of my fruit cup. I could choose to drink myself into oblivion, or lie, or cheat on my husband, or steal. I could make any of those choices because I am in control of what I decide to do. So why don't we just do whatever we want, whenever we want? Well, some people do. In fact, more and more people seem to be doing whatever feels good at the moment, giving no thought to who it effects around them or to the eternal consequences that comes with those choices.  Do you ever hear a conversations that starts like this: "If God is love, then why would he allow something like that to happen?" It all boils down to this very fact that each person is in control of their life.  The difference lies when people truly choose to follow God and submit to Him in ALL things. Not just when things are going wrong. Not just when there is a crisis. Not just on Sunday morning from 11-12. Every day, every minute, every hour. Your desire is to please the Father in all you do and say. Don't get me wrong-I am not talking about perfect people who never make mistakes, but I am referring to people who's heart is truly turned towards the things of God and desire to live according to His ways. There is a scripture that says "We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose." Romans 8:28 (amp). I love how the Amplified Bible states it so clearly here. It's not that God takes all things in every one's life, regardless of their choices and allegiances, and works it out for good. No, it says that we know that when we are walking with God (He being a partner in our labor) he has the ability to take any situation and adjust it to fit into His master plan for our life, if we are following Him. Everything hinges on who we are following. Everything comes down to this: am I totally sold out for God? Is it truly settled in my heart that I follow Him and no one or nothing else, or not. Until that matter in the direction towards God is settled in our hearts and minds, so much of scripture doesn't apply to our lives. Most promises in scripture begin with "If you...". And if you don't, then don't bother reading the rest, because it won't matter, except to show you what you are missing out on.  So in actuality, saying "God is in control" is really a cop out, relinquishing our right and duty to make Godly choices, so that when our life falls apart, we then can turn and blame God for it as well. Control. We want it when it benefits us, and shun it when others try to hold it over us. But when we learn to exercise healthy control over our lives, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, suddenly a whole new world is opened to us. When we ask God to be in control of our lives, and give Him permission to lead us, He rushes in. He is such a gentleman that He will never force his control on us. He desires that we submit to Him, and answers as soon as we call. Ironically a life lived under submission of God's will is so freeing! A life of blessing, abundance and true fulfillment. And grace for when our hearts are right, but we miss the mark. Control. You have been given a wonderful gift. Use it wisely.

Day 12 - Waging War

As I was walking this morning, my knee was bothering me a lot. It has been hurting for a few days now, almost a week. I thought maybe it was a pulled muscle, but it just lingered. Every day when I walk, I pray, and it is a really great time of just the Lord and I. Lily goes with me in her stroller, and this morning she was exceptionally content and quiet so I didn't have to give her any of my attention. I really began to focus my prayer, but my knee was distracting me. I began to claim the healing scripture from 1 Peter 2:24 that says "by His [Jesus's] wounds we are healed". The pain continued. I talked to the Lord for a few minutes, and told Him how I believed He could do anything...ANYTHING! I have so much faith in God, so much faith is His power and His ability. He is all powerful, and I know there is nothing impossible for Him. But I also know that there must be a reason that when I ask Him to heal (or do anything according to his word for that matter), there must be a reason why sometimes it just doesn't happen right then and there. I examined my life, and didn't feel like there was anything for which I needed to repent. So I began to really press into the Lord and pray that he would reveal to me what was holding back the answers to this and many other prayers. Immediately, I heard the words, "prince of Persia". Not completely understanding, but believing I had heard from God, I began to pray and take authority over the prince of Persia, to which I felt was some sort of spirit that was hindering my healing and breakthrough in so many areas. Immediately, the pain left my knee. I mean it was instantaneous. I kept walking and praying until I reached my house. When I got home, I looked up the phrase "prince of Persia". To my surprise, it lead me to Daniel 10. More specifically to verses 12-13 where a messenger angel comes to Daniel and says, "Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia." I have read and heard this passage several times, but I had completely forgotten that it was the demonic realm of the prince of Persia that detained God's message and answer to Daniel's prayer.  It reminded my how there is a constant war in the heavenlies between the angels and demons. It's not just some cartoon with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, although that picture is actually not too far fetched either! I felt that there was more that God wanted to teach me, so I went back to Daniel 9 to see what it was that Daniel had prayed for, and that made the demonic realm feel so threatened. It was a prayer of repentance for the city of Jerusalem (God's people) who had rebelled and sinned against God and was in desolation. It was a prayer for mercy and restoration. Daniel, who was upright in the eyes of God, was still effected by the sins, rebellion and consequences of a rebellious, stiff-necked people. He was crying out for God to hear his repentance and forgive the sins of a nation and heal their land and people. Obviously, a restored people of God is a threat to the devil and the demonic realm. Satan loves to keep God's people down and under his thumb-enslaved, really. I believe it gives him that feeling of control that he desired so much when he first turned against God and fell from heaven. Satan also knows that a desolate, sick, weak people can not walk in authority and forgets its' place in the kingdom of God. No wonder there was such a fight to keep the angel from coming to Daniel to answer the cry for freedom for God's people. If we, as people of God realized how much authority has been given to us by God, our lives would be transformed. I am not saying that all sickness and problems of the world are directly related to this idea, but I do believe that some are, and they go unhealed and unsolved because we are unaware of the power that God has given to us as his children. The other lesson I took from this passage is how God hears our prayers, but the war that is waged over gaining victory through that prayer is sometimes a fierce battle in the heavenly realm. Even though God is all powerful, he has delegated his authority and control to his angels and his people on the earth. He has also given satan the name "the prince of the power of the air" which gives him a measure of authority, allbeit temporary, over things on the earth. God gives us the keys to fight against satan's authority in the earth, but unless we use those keys, we stay down and enslaved to satan's power. One of my prayers as I walk is that God reveals Himself more and more to me, so that I can really know Him, move in His power and anointing, and allow Him to use me to touch others. It is a deep desire of my heart, and I believe that He is answering that prayer, step by step.

Park pictures

While Josh was at his sock hop, I took Jonathan and Lily to the park. It was a perfect day, getting cooler, and leaves changing color. Fall is so pretty here in Belton!