The journey was seemingly endless. My anticipation grew stronger with each state line. I was going home. I was no longer a child. I glanced at my son in the rearview mirror and laid my hand atop my husband's. I had gone so far away and the years passed like days. But finally I was going home. As we left the highway tears welled in my eyes. Every hill seemed greener and more beautiful than I had remembered. Each house that passed was familiar yet aged. Finally we reached our destination. I shut off the car, glanced at my husband and took a deep breath. Home. We followed the driveway to the garage hugging everyone in our path. Then I saw him. Tall and handsome. Broad and strong. His arms wrapped around me and we both just held tight. Then he whispered to me, "I never thought I would never see you again." I held tighter and just lived in that moment for as long as I could. We stayed a few days, not nearly enough and set off on our journey again. Never wanting to say goodbye, but rather "I'll be home soon", so the leaving would be easier.
Years passed, another son born. The family decided to fly in to town. Waiting and watching the planes taxi by, I finally caught sight of each one. One by one we exchanged hugs and kisses and then I saw him again. His hair a bit whiter, his step a touch slower but that twinkle still dancing in his eyes. He held me in his arms and although we were thousands of miles away, I was home. Time went too fast. Life begged to move on. "I'll be home soon" was all I could say. Tears fell as they drove out of sight.
The telephone rang. Things had suddenly turned. We wasted no time and drove all night. Our three angels were nestled in the backseat. Miles ticked by. Tears fell down my cheeks. Thoughts flooded my mind mixing in with the prayers. "I'll be home soon" was what kept my mind focused. Daylight broke through the night and we had finally arrived. I walked in his room. He was so tired, so pale. I leaned over to kiss him and held his hand. They weren't as big as they used to be. His hair was all white. He couldn't say much but those blue eyes opened and caught mine. I smiled and tried to be strong, hating to see him like this. Knowing his time was short but not saying all that I wanted to for feeling as if I did I would be giving up on him. Besides, I hated goodbyes. We stayed as long as we could and he was still holding on. I kissed his rough cheek and said I had to go now but I told him " I would be home soon"...for the very last time.
A week passed and he was gone. A part of me was too. For a moment I didn't know how to breathe. We drove once again for a final farewell. I felt so strange. Nothing seemed right. Gone was his smile and his teary eyes. The scent of his sweaters, his prickly cheek. I was so sad for all the time I was gone...all the memories I missed...the years lost. But after all was said and done and the doors had been closed, I realized that Dad had reached his real home. One day we will be together again. Someday down the road, but for now there's still so much to do. My heart split in two, half here and half there, but I'll never stop thinking that one day I too will be home soon.
