I had the complete misfortune of breaking my baby girl's arm yesterday. It was a horrible accident. I slipped and fell at a ball game, and because I had her arm, she was yanked down with my momentum. She cried for an hour, and was only able to calm down when we got home and she rested in her Daddy's arms. This morning I looked her over. Her arm looked fine, and there was no bruising. Then, as I watched her try to do the things she normally does, I saw that she was favoring her arm way too much. She was just not acting like my little Lily. I knew that I needed to bring her to the doctor. After a set of X-rays, my suspicions were confirmed: fracture.
It's awful to think that Lily walked all last night and this morning with a broken arm. Now that we are home, I have had a chance to process everything. Lily is still sore, but her arm is secure, splinted and on the mend. Restraining it in the splint makes her arm rest, even with all the energy of a 20 month old. This whole incident placed an interesting question inside my head. I wondered how many people just walk around broken on the inside without anyone noticing? The majority of people that we meet in our every day life look fine and seem to act the way society deems as normal. All of us, at times, have broken areas hidden deep inside of us. A death of a loved one, a relationship severed, a major disappointment...all can cause a brokenness. The rate in which we heal varies from person to person, from situation to situation. No one can put a time limit on your wholeness, but one thing is for sure, eventually, the brokenness should heal. I have recently met a woman who's brokenness has not yet healed. It has been four years since her 24 year old son was killed in a motorcycle accident. She has tried to use alcohol to cover the pain. Temporarily she finds relief, even if it is a false sense of healing. I met with her just the other day at a hospital in Seneca. She was the patient, and her husband brought her in with chest pain and heart attack symptoms. A day later, she was release with a clean bill of health and a healthy heart from what all the instruments show. It's too bad brokenness isn't a monitorable condition on an EKG. It only took me a few moments of conversing with this sweet lady to realize that she was hurting, and hurting badly. She was not able to mask it, and she wore her wounds on her sleeve. Unfortunately, there are many people who have an ability of hiding their brokenness so that it isn't readily detected as quickly as it was in my friend. I think the main reason is because it takes courage and humility to admit when we are broken, and some people find it very difficult to let their true self show. Some blame their brokenness on past experiences, using that as their eternal crutch, choosing to play the part of a victim rather than an overcomer. Others are blind to their own brokenness, and have somehow managed to deceive themselves into thinking they are fine. Our Pastor recently preached about how a deceived person is the most diffcult person to work with, because not only are they broken, but they believe they are whole and everyone else has a problem. Life is not always easy, but living life being broken and/or deceived is not the abundant life God promises to each one of us.
I have walked through brokenness many times in my life. Each instance was different, some were caused by others and some were self inflicted. I am thankful that the Lord had placed people in my life who stood by me and helped me through some of those times. Other times, I can recall when God chose to be my help Himself. The times when I didn't want to admit my brokenness, I failed to create an atmosphere for healing, and the process was slow. The times when I was able to freely say, "I'm hurting, I don't know what to do, but I desire to be whole again", the Lord made the process much more swift and bearable. We all need motivation to want to be whole. Physical pain is a powerful motivator, but often our brokenness can't be felt in the same way a broken arm can. No one wants to get hurt. No one wants to be broken. And as much as we wish they could, no one can walk down the path to wholeness in our place. The promise that we have is that we will never walk it alone, for the Lord Himself will lead us.
And when we look back on our brokenness sitting on the fence of wholeness, we too can proclaim just as David of old, "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!" Psalm 30:11-12 (NLT)
