Expecting

First and foremost, no we are not expecting...but my sister-in-law is, and any day now. We just got home from a wonderful visit with Luis's family in Hampton. David's wife is expecting her second baby, and it brought me back to the days right before I delivered my own three little ones. I remember wondering how it was all going to work out, worrying about all the details, dreading the actual labor. And how, with each pregnancy, God had made such a wonderful plan and put people in our path who were so supportive. I remember being pregnant in Arizona with my oldest. Scared to death of the delivery. The only one that might have been more nervous than me was Luis. When Josh arrived, so did my parents 4 hours later. Mom gave me a crash course in Babies 101, Dad was there for moral support and to love on us. It was more perfect than I could have imagined. Then, when I was getting close to have Jonathan, my friend (who just happened to be my boss and an RN) sat with me through contractions, and then in the waiting room with Josh during delivery. She was my angel sent from God, and I was so blessed to have her with us. When Lily was to be born, I was back in South Carolina, living close to my sister Mary Beth. She kept close tabs on me and my progress and was ready at a moments notice for the big event. It meant so much to me to have Mary Beth and my niece Ali there. Lily made a perfect entrance on a Sunday, when Mary Beth didn't have to work, midday so I didn't have to wake anyone, and she was able to be with our boys while I delivered Lily. Each time was perfectly orchestrated. All my worrying and fussing amounted to nothing more than a lot of wasted energy, and God worked everything out perfectly. As I spent these past few days with my sister-in-law, I saw that troubled, fearful look in her eyes. I think it's pretty normal to feel that way before you are about to give birth. I remember one of my midwives said to me that she could tell if a woman was in real labor or not by a certain look in her eyes. It's funny how we all react when we are expecting something. Be it a child, a report from a doctor or how the New Year will unfold, expectation comes in many degrees. When we walk with the Lord, our expectations are able to be so much more positive.  No longer do we need to dread a result, or fear the worst in a situation, but we can rest in knowing that the God of the universe already knows the outcome of our situation, and has already made a way for us to walk through it. What a great relief to know we are not alone in our decisions, our difficulties or even out disasters.

I have a great expectation for 2012. To be honest, I have no idea what is coming our way, nevertheless, I am so excited for it to come. Even with of all the craziness of life in 2011 with the economy at a low, job markets slowing to a trickle, and people cutting back everywhere you look, it was a very good year for us in so many ways. Luis and I celebrated our 15th anniversary yesterday, reflecting on all that God has done on our behalf, despite all the battles we faced from day one. We look at our three beautiful children who are now 10, 6 and 2, and wonder what in the world we did to deserve such great kids, only to realize that they are just precious gifts from above. This, our second year in a house we really love, still in awe of all God did to make it possible for us to be where we are today. So, with a heart overflowing with thankfulness and expectation, I wait, somewhat impatiently, to see where the Parra Voyages will set sail next. Can't wait to see it all unfold, and blog it all to the glory of God. Thanks for coming along on the journey with me.

Christmas Morning

Christmas has been so fun with the kids. They were blessed with so many presents from grandparents and aunts (thanks again everyone!) Jonathan had grown so much in the last year that he was starting to look like one of those circus clowns riding a tiny bike. The last few weeks, he had been borrowing Joshua's bike, even though it was too big for him, and with much protest from Josh. Here's a video of Jon finding his new bike on Christmas morning. (Sorry Mom, I know you can't watch this.)

They have turned into Wii zombies with their new games:Toy Story Mania (in 3-D, thus the glasses) and Lego Star Wars 3...

Lily has been cooking up a storm in her new "My Little Kitchen" that I was up until past midnight on Christmas Eve putting together-it's amazing there were no left over pieces and it actually looks like the picture because I needed toothpicks to keep my eyelids open. It made me remember the year that Luis stayed up late putting together a motorized go cart for Josh in Arizona. Ahhh, the things we do for our little munchkins.

It was a great holiday, just short of perfect because I wasn't with my extended family but phones and skype help make my loved one seem close. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Next stop, Hampton to see both sides of our South Carolina family, and then the New Years bash at Redemption-can't wait!

It's hard to believe another season of decorations, hiding presents and spelling out words so Lily doesn't know what we are talking about is coming to a close, but it's wonderful that the peace of this season lingers all year long.

Shattered

A couple of day ago, I went shopping with the kids. As we strolled up and down the aisles, Josh reached for something off the shelf and accidentally knocked a piggy bank down, and broke it. He was immediately repentant, and really felt so badly about breaking it. He felt even worse when I told him to pick up the pieces and that we would have to pay for it. I could tell he was sorry and embarrassed, along with a whole flurry of other emotions that my sweet first born usually feels. As we approached the cashier, I could tell Josh was growing more uneasy, and he repeatedly apologized and told me how bad he felt that he did it. I reassured him that I understood that it was an accident and reminded him that he needed to be more careful in the stores. It came time for us to check out, and I placed the dismembered piggy in the cashier's hand, explained that we broke it, and prepared to pay for it. She turned to her manager standing behind her, who overheard the whole conversation. With a simple shake of the head, and a smile, the manager graciously decided to not make us pay for the bank. He thanked us for our honesty, took the pig and placed it under the counter. 

Mercy. A concept that is so difficult to teach with words, and even harder to practice when we are wronged. In a matter of minutes, my children learned what mercy was in a way they will never forget. What a great teaching moment for all of us. As we sat in the car on the way home, we talked about what had just happened. I talked with the boys about how we need to be just as quick to extend mercy to each other as that manager was to us.  What a great lesson learned, I thought to myself as I drove home.

It's funny how often times when we are involved in teaching our children a lesson, shortly thereafter, we are given the amazing opportunity to walk through that lesson ourselves. Enter, my beloved Honda Pilot.

It was a gloomy, overcast day, and the rain had been off and on all morning. Josh and Jonathan were outside with a neighbor girl, playing catch with a small plastic ball, which landed on the top of my car. Josh, forgetting our rule about climbing on the cars, pulled himself up from the hood to the top, lost his balance and came down with all his weight with his elbow on my windshield.  The neighbor came rushing to the door, and told me that Josh cracked the glass on my car. I walked out, already livid with the thought of having to pay for the repair. Here's what I saw:

 I am sure my face turned a lovely shade of magenta, and I immediately sent the neighbor home. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do remember it was loud. I lost it, right there in my driveway. I am not sure if I was more angry that Josh disobeyed or that the damage was so vast. I didn't even ask Josh if he was hurt. I sent everyone in the house, and called the insurance company. Knowing we had a $500 deductible, I held my breath while the agent looked up the details on our policy. As he told me we had 100% glass coverage and no deductible, I let out a sigh of relief. I contacted a glass place, set up an appointment, and got everything squared away with surprising ease. After all was said and done, I hung up the phone and just sat at the table, and I heard a Voice that said, "Remind Joshua that you love him." I have grown to love that Voice, and I have learned, over time, to quickly obey it as well. Josh was in the living room on the couch, and I called to him. He turned to look at me, and I said, "Bud, even though I got really mad at you for disobeying the rule, and for what you did to the car, I still love you." He started to cry, telling me that because I was so angry he thought I didn't love him. I got the chance to remind him that no matter what he does, no matter how angry I might get, my love for him would never change. I remembered the piggy bank incident from the day before, and the mercy that was extended to us. Then I realized how I blew it when it came time for me to extend mercy to my own son, whom I love so dearly. Thankfully, it is never too late to make things right, and I was given the opportunity to fix it.

Mercy is a mysterious thing, that leads you through a gambit of emotions. This whole ordeal reminded me of how Jesus had the greatest mercy of all on each one of us. Instead of making us pay for our sins, as He had every right to do, He paid for them all, once and for all, and cancelled our enormous debt that we could never have sufficiently paid. We have all learned a valuable lesson over that last few days, and I'm sure that there will be other lessons over this long vacation for us to tackle. I am so thankful that the Lord's mercies are new every morning, and His faithfulness is great, even when ours is not.

On Dasher, on Dancer...

Aren't these cute? The kids loved my attempt at a Christmas baking craft.

Thirty-nine and holding.

I feel very strange on this, the eve of my 40th birthday. My children have been especially helpful in reminding me (daily) that my birthday is coming. Jonathan asked me today if I was going to wake up tomorrow with a head full of gray hair, and Josh asked me if cars were around when I was young. The other day, I took Lily to the doctor, and when the little girl that walked into the room introduced herself as Dr. Jones, I almost tripped over my jaw as it hit the floor. The only consolation is that Luis will always be 3 years older than me, something that I remind him of every chance I get (haha). I remember thinking when I was young, that 40 was ancient. Over the hill. The beginning of the end. Now that the minutes are ticking by, I am starting to rethink my position on that stance. After all, I haven't even SEEN a hill yet, and I still have more brunette than gray (and no, I have never colored my hair!). Alas, I must admit, reality is reality, and there is no denying the inevitable. Many times, I have encouraged my friends and family who have preceded me in reaching this milestone by saying that 40 is just a number, and you are only as old as you feel. Well, now that the shoe is on the other foot, I have to say it isn't so comforting when 40 is YOUR number, and I don't feel a day over...39.

But, all joking aside, it really doesn't bother me (too badly) about turning 40. I have to say that the last 10 years have been my sweetest, most fabulous yet, and I am expecting my 40s to be even better. I don't wish to be a teenager again. I don't even long for my college days, although they were exciting and life changing. My twenties were a blur, although some of the most important decisions of my life occurred between the ages of 22 and 25. So, all in all, I have to say, Dear 40, I look forward to all you have to offer. I welcome you with open arms, a few gray hairs, and a couple of wrinkles. I have a feeling this will be my best decade yet!