Saturday, January 25, 2020

Choose Life




What a beautiful truth.

Choice.

I was unexpected, not in the "plan". Money was tight. There were already 6 children. Dispair asked the doctor to discuss "options" with my mother. Options between life or death. Between living or dying. God had a plan. His plan was for good and not evil. To give me a future and a hope. She chose LIFE. Thank you Mom for keeping me. Inspite of the hardship, the fears, the uncertanty. Thank you for following God's plan and not man's. I am eternally grateful.

And while she carried me inside, with all of her emotions of fear and dispair, a search began that changed the course of her destiny forever. Not only her life, but of all those around her. While laying in bed, pregnant with the life she chose to keep, she heard a man on the radio explain about Someone that would change her life forever. One who would never leave her or forsake her. One who could take hard times and turn them into good. One who could forgive her of her sins, love her unconditionally, walk with her through anything. Jesus.

Her tough decision led her straight into the best choice she could ever make. Forgiveness. Freedom. Transformation. A new creation. It was contagious, and spread over time. Her mother, her sister, her brother-in-law. Her husband, her children. Her grandchildren. Her nieces and nephews. Even her hard-hearted father. She met the One who chose her from before time was. He accepted her just as she was. And she was forever grateful for the new life He gave.

So many lives touched and changed for all eternity by the choice of one mother who chose life. Both the life of the one she carried, and New life in Christ.

"This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." Deuteronomy 30:19

Monday, December 2, 2019

If Shoes Could Tell a Story.


If these shoes could tell a story, what amazing tales they would tell. All the places and people and emotions of which they have been a part. They would surely recall the first day of insecurity and doubt. Were those feet adequate to make the cut? Did they have what it takes? Nervous heartbeats pulsing through the soles. Of course they would remenisce of friends like brothers, praying together, battling together, winning and losing together. A coach who always believed in him and pulled the best from him. I have a feeling they would speak of the splashes of sweat from shear exhaustion, drops of tears from victories and defeats, precious blood stains and excrutiating pain from injuries that came from giving everything you have. They would remind us of the clay and the sand and the mud and rain and even snow, of all the places they had stepped, wearing out a little more each day. I think if these shoes could tell a story, they would undoubtedly boast of the pride they felt to be used by someone who gave his all, never gave up, loved deeply and fought fiercely, regardless of the outcome. They would remind us of the fancy steps and well placed chips, of the rocket shots and picturesque passes. The miles run, the spills taken, the tough, frustrating times sitting injured on the bench. They would make us laugh with stories of crazy shanks, pretty corners and lucky toe-pokes. I am sure they would recall the play-by-play recaps on the drive home after each match, and the silent ride when it was all said and done.

Oh, the stories we would hear and the pictures that would be painted in the recesses of our hearts and minds...if these shoes could tell a story.

Monday, December 25, 2017

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

...and all through the house...everyone is asleep except me. Christmas feels different this year. Don't get me wrong, the real meaning will always be what really matters, and that will always be special, but this year is the first year that I see my oldest baby changing. He's lost some of his excitement for the season. It's like the magic is slowly fading and he doesn't know how to act. I guess I remember feeling like that as I was going through my teens. I guess as we age, we all lose some of the excitement...or is it just us? Do others feel sad this time of the year, especially when family is so far away? Poor Luis wishes he could be in Mexico but it just wasn't possible this year. We have had a really hard year...full of challenges of all kinds. I think I have just grown weary. Could my oldest's lack of enthusiasm be a reflection in what he sees in me? I don't know. I just feel very detached from everyone this year. I feel like I am in a hole that I can't dig myself out of. It's a lonely feeling. I have always thought of myself as a simple person, not high maintenance, easy to please. But it seems like my usual chipper attitude has slipped away from me this year. I find myself short tempered and easily irritated. Like life has become a chore, and I am simply going through the motions. I watched Lily tonight- I remember that feeling of being so excited that I couldn't sleep. She is counting the minutes until Christmas. Where does that feeling go? Could it be that this world just is losing its grip on me? I wish it to be that spiritual, but I fear that it is not. Perhaps I have lost my way. Somehow drifted off of a path without even realizing it. Things around me look familiar, yet seem so strangely foreign, and I can't remember the way back. It's a quiet and solace place, but not in a good way. It's a sad place, and I want to snap my fingers and wake up and realize that it was all but a dream. But I am wide awake. In the car this morning, driving home from church, I remember saying something about this being a sad time for some. How many are lonely and have no family close. Some are desperately clinging to life faced with addictions and illnesses. Some are bitter and resentful and have let their thoughts be entangled with the web of regret. Maybe, in some way, I was talking of myself. Maybe not to the extreme that others experience but in some way, maybe I was describing myself without even realizing it.

In times like these, I know of only one thing to do. I have to use the weapons that my faith has taught and trained me to use. Even when I don't have the desire or drive to do it, I know it's my only recourse.

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law". - Psalm 119:28-29.

"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon —from Mount Mizar.Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 42:5-11.

Thank you Lord, for reminding me that you have not left me. Thank you for calling out to me in my distress. Where can I hide from you, Lord? You know my end from my beginning and hold me in the palm of your hand. This world can be a troubling place. Life has its share of struggles and disappointments, but You alone are my rock and my strong tower. In You alone I find rest for my weary soul.


Saturday, November 25, 2017

Traditions

Have you ever just done something year after year, simply because you've always done it that way? Why do we do this? I guess maybe because we are creatures of habit, or afraid of change. Or maybe, like many times for me, it's easier and I can be lazy when it comes to change. I was thinking about this while cooking our Thanksgiving meal this year. Every year I make mashed potatoes. Every year they go to waste. This year, I asked everyone what they wanted besides turkey. I got a list of things that I don't usually make, so I decided to try them all. Dinner turned out to be one of the best ones yet, and no mashed potatoes! It got me thinking, what else am I doing just out of habit? Am I spinning my wheels on things that no one cares about? Worse yet, am I doing things that don't even matter to God, who I care most about pleasing? Who knew mashed potatoes could teach me such a lesson. It has made me take a look around me, and grasp a better perspective on what really matters...on who really matters. It's been a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I have so much to be thankful for.