Veteran's Day at Lily's School

 

Spring Break 2022 - Gatlinburg, Tennessee

This year while I was planning a beach trip for Spring break, Jonathan and Lily both told me they would rather go to the mountains...so, I did a complete 180 and off to Gatlinburg we went! 

Day 1 - we got a later start than we wanted, ran into traffic that added 1.5 hours to our already 3 hour drive, but we made it to the hotel around 4:45pm. We checked in, freshened up and Lily chose Texas Roadhouse for dinner. A low-key first day, so we decided to turn in early for the day ahead.

Day 2 - Pouring rain so I had some "indoor" venues planned. We got up early and headed to the Forbidden Caverns in Sevierville, TN, the birthplace of Dolly Parton. (Sevierville, not the caverns, although they could have really marketed that concept! LOL). It had been years since mom and dad took my sister Jen and I to the Luray Caverns in Virginia, but I remembered it was fun. I hoped this would be for my family too! 

It turned out to be very fun! At one point we were 250 feet below the surface under the mountain. I have to admit, it crossed my mind several times that at any moment we could all be crushed if that mountain gave way...but I was able to enjoy the hour long tour despite all of the perilous thoughts that would come my way! It was a fairly strenuous tour with rather steep inclines and declines, a good amount of stairs and some tight quarters at times. Personally, I was proud of myself that I made it the whole way, but I was out of breath towards the end for sure!

After the tour, the rain slowed down a bit and we headed for downtown Gatlinburg. It is a beautiful city in the heart of the Smokey Mountains. We first visited Gatlinburg when the kids had a soccer tournament a few years ago. Soccer tournament weekends are fun, but they don't leave much time for exploring, and are usually during the school year so taking extra days means missing school. It was so nice that we had no soccer to rush to and we just were able to set our own timetable. 

Gatlinburg is a beautiful place to visit. The mountains and creeks are beautiful and there is so much to do. I especially like the downtown area. There are lots of shops and activities all year round. 

We stopped for lunch and then headed to the Ripley's Aquarium, which was one thing Lily really wanted to do. It was a very cool place!

These two cuties had a staring contest. We called it a tie after about five minutes. That little penguin just kept staring a Lily. It made the sweetest picture too!

It was a great, very full day, and we were all worn out at the end! We picked up some Chinese food (Jonathan's choice) and headed back to the hotel to rest. It was good that everything was fairly close, so not a whole lot of driving once we were there. 

Day 3 - Overcast but clearing and mild temperatures. It was time to have some outdoor fun! After breakfast at Flapjacks Pancakes house (my Dad would have loved it there!) We began the ascent to the tippy top of the mountain to a place called Ober Gatlinburg. It was a little German-themed amusement park. It is more of a winter venue as they have skiing, tubing, ice skating and many other activities when there is snow. It was still a lot of fun and there were a good amount of activities for everyone.

A chair lift ride up to the top of the mountain and back down again. Jonathan decided he prefers his feet on the ground. Lily loved it and gave her older brother a hard time for being less than thrilled. I am right there with you, Jonathan. I prefer two feet on the ground too!

These were bumper cars on ice! They were very cool!

For those who know me, you know I am not very adventurous when it comes to amusement rides. Luis is pretty much the same way. Josh and Jonathan too. But somewhere in Lily's genetic code, she picked up some Uncle Gregg and Aunt Jenny genes and she loves rides. Up until now she hasn't experienced much because she was too little to go alone, and we were, well, a bunch of chickens. Now that she is almost 13 (going on 25!), she is tall enough to ride alone and she loves it. Luis took this video of Lily on the mountain roller coaster. It's kind of shakey because he was zoomed in trying to see her, but you get the idea.  She is really looking forward to her upcoming music ideals (honors choir) trip to Carowinds next month!

After spending a few hours at Ober Gatlingburg, we headed back to the hotel for a "siesta". I think we were still worn out from the day before too. That evening, the kids stayed at the hotel while Luis and I headed out for a dinner date. I promised Luis I would find him an all-you-can-eat seafood place for vacation...but I made that promise when I thought we were headed to the beach!! Thankfully Captain Jim's Seafood Buffet came through and even threw in all-you-can-eat crab legs too! Although the "fresh seafood" sign was a stretch for this land locked mountain retreat, Luis enjoyed every bite and I think this was one of his favorite parts of the whole vacation!

 

In roughly 2 hours, that man filled the bucket with empty crab legs. No doubt he dreamt of the ocean that night!

Day 4 - More rain so we decided to get up early and head home. It was a great little getaway, and the only thing that would have made it perfect would have been if Josh could have been there. But, his college semester is ramping up with finals just around the corner. We will definitely have to plan another visit when he is on break!

Gatlinburg is so beautiful. Can't wait to go back!

Goodbyes

I remember when I was very young, I hated goodbyes. If someone I really cared about was leaving home, or getting married, or going off to college, I would lock myself in the "little bathroom" in my parents' house until that person was gone. I am sure one of the reasons was that I didn't want people to see me cry. Being a kid who cried a lot, it almost became a joke....uh oh, Leslie is crying again...I know, too, that my heart hurt to the point of feeling sick, and I didn't know exactly how to make it feel better. Whatever the reason I locked myself away, eventually I saw that person again, and all was well.

A few years back, I lost my Dad to Parkinson's Disease. That was a horribly sad time. Little by little, over a few years, we watched him slowly slip away. When he finally passed, it was almost (almost) a relief. No more suffering, no more pain...but oh, how my heart hurt! 

This past week, I received some news that shocked me and still feels like I am dreaming and can't wake up. The phone rang, and my mom told me that  my brother Gregg was gone. No warning. No time to prepare. No place to hide and cry. My heart still hurts so much at the thought of him being gone. I just spent Christmas in New York with my family and Gregg came around more than he usually did in the past when I visited. We had lots of laughs, some tears, and reminisced about lots of things. It was a really great visit with him. It was plain to see that life had been hard for Gregg. Yes, he didn't always make the best choices, and yes, many of the difficulties he faced were because of those choices, no doubt. But setting all of that aside, I couldn't help but to love that guy. He had the ability to make you mad and then laugh hysterically within the same sentence. So many memories...now all just memories...

Memories are funny...sometimes we remember things because we were there...and sometimes, we have heard about things so often, that we just think we were there. Either way, I think my earliest memory of Gregg would have to be when I was probably 8 or 9 years old...which would have made him 17 or 18. I can't remember who else would have been there (except for my little sister Jenny - she is in almost all of my childhood memories!). We were in the living room and mom had a scratchy, stretchy blue crocheted blanket. Gregg would put us in the blanket like a cocoon and swing us in it. I remember him telling me if I didn't stop laughing he was going to throw me in the bushes...I would laugh even more.

Gregg loved making us laugh...the harder the better. I was an easy target. Dinnertime was at 5pm every night during the week. Jen and I would set the table, plates, forks, knives, tea cups for mom and dad in the winter, ice tea glasses in the hot summer months. When the food was ready, we all sat together. "Gregg, put a shirt on" was often heard in the summer, as Gregg would always be outside doing something without a shirt. Dad would say grace and we would all close our eyes...well, all but Gregg who would open just one....and knowing I would be easy prey, he would stare right at me during the prayer. I remember thinking, "don't open your eyes, Leslie...don't open your eyes"...but the temptation was too much and I just had to see. Of course, as expected, Gregg was waiting, staring at me with that one eye open making the craziest face. I would laugh right in the middle of grace, and then Mom would ask if I wanted to be excused from the table. Well, no, I really didn't, because that meant Gregg would get my portion, too...which, now that I think of it, was probably Gregg's master plan all along! haha

Gregg had the knack for making up the funniest stuff...he would often recite his memorized book titles. "Antlers in the Treetops" by Whogoosed the Moose is the only one I can remember right now. One of my other sisters had a friend named Elise Hyde....I remember him saying "Elise Hyde! The cow's outside!". He could be crude, like any teenage boy can be....and he did some pretty gross things. Trapping farts (sorry mom!) in a glass was one of the grossest. Of course, he didn't tell us that is what was in the glass...he would just say, "smell this" or "does this glass smell weird to you?" and like a little mouse, I walked right in to the trap. Then he would say, in his best Italian accent, "Fuchi que pesta...my eyes are burning!" Gregg loved to prove how strong he was. And honestly, he was really, really strong. Right down to his toes. He use to tell me he would give me a quarter if I could bend his big toe back. I would push and push with all my might, but that toe was made of steel. Never did win that quarter!

I was always the scaredy-cat of all the little sisters. I wanted to do all the stuff that Jenny did, but usually didn't have the guts. Every once in a while, I would muster some courage, and hop on the back of the motorcycle with Gregg. He would tell me, "Hold on, and lean when I lean, or else we will wipe out"...not really what a scaredy-cat wants to hear. So, you better believe that I held on for dear life, and I made sure to lean at just the right time, in the right direction. I would cry because he went too fast...but then when he would let me off at home, I would want to go again. Winters were the best because he and Steve always has snowmobiles around. I remember him pulling us so fast through the trails in the woods on a sled that was tied to his snowmobile. Every ride was terrifying and exhilarating, all at once. He was a lot of fun, and he never seemed to complain that we were always around, begging him to do stuff. 

Our home was on the smaller side...4 bedrooms and 1 1/2 baths...with ten people at once. You would think with 6 girls, we would have been the ones monopolizing the bathroom with the shower. Of course, we probably would have, if Gregg would have gotten out of there! He would take 30 minute showers and sing while he was in there. Our plumbing had some kind of cross connection, so if you flushed the toilet in the little bathroom (half bath), it would make the hot water in the shower go cold. Gregg would bang on the shower wall when that happened! I think sometimes, people flushed it just to get him out of the shower! ha!

When I was in High school, I remember a certain birthday. Mom made baked ziti for dinner (my favorite!) and she baked a cake. Gregg came in right in time for dinner. He brought me a present...three Billy Joel cassette tapes! Even though he used the aluminum foil from the pasta (which still has mozzarella cheese on it!) as wrapping paper, I remember thinking that was the best gift!! He was always full of surprises.

Gregg was rarely serious when he was younger, but that never stopped us from knowing he loved us. He never lost that sense of humor. Even as an adult, when life and choices made things hard for him, he would always say something to make us laugh.  I think the only time I ever saw him cry as when Dad died. It hit him really hard. 

So, I am here trying to process this final goodbye. One that I am really not ready to make. He is the first of my siblings to go. It is all very surreal. My heart breaks for my Mom who shouldn't have to bury her son. My heart breaks for my older brothers and sisters who spent their childhood with Gregg and knew him much differently than I did. And my heart breaks for my little sister, who was his favorite, for sure, if he had to choose one. I still hate goodbyes. Especially when they are the kind of goodbye that doesn't have a clear end in sight. So, I will just say, goodbye, for now, Gregg. I love you and I will miss you,  I will forever hold in my heart all of the fun times, all of the laughter, and all of the love.

 

Lily's Christmas Concert

 

Perfectly imperfect

 

We headed out to our little land in search of the perfect Christmas tree. Luis had cleared most of the land already, all except a small section that was full of pine trees. He knows how much I love Christmas. He knows I love to have a real tree. Jonathan was at a friends house, and this was Josh's last full day at home. I was disappointed that we weren't all together. Nonetheless, Josh, Lily and I headed to the land where Luis was already waiting. I started to look at the trees, and they all looked like Southern Pines. Tall skinny trunks with few branches and long soft needles. Definitely not the Douglas Fir that I had stuck in recesses of my imagination. It was an unrealistic desire. We do, after all, live in the Upstate of South Carolina. After about a minute of looking, I had already decided that our perfect tree wasn't to be found on our land. I somehow managed to convince Josh of the same thing, without even saying a word. Moms have a way of doing that, you know. Then, I saw Lily emerge from a small group of trees with a smile on her face. 

With a matter-of-fact grin and her hands on her hips, she announced that she found our tree. I half-heartedly strolled toward her, trying to muster up some kind of enthusiasm. As I walked closer, I noticed that tucked in the middle of a group of Southern Pines, was another pine tree that I hadn't seen before.  I wasn't exactly sure what kind of pine it was, but I could tell that Lily was  certain it was the one...and she had managed to convince Luis. Daddys' little girls have a way of doing that too, you know. Luis fired up the chainsaw and we watched the tree fall. Still doubtful, I watched Luis drag the tree out and stand it upright. It definitely had potential. At least more potential than the other trees. 

We decided to bring it home and give it a try. The kids and I hopped in my car and went home to prepare the living room for the tree. 

It is probably hard to tell from the picture, but this tree is 12 feet tall. That's even after Luis cut about three feet off the bottom. It actually has two trunks and two tips. It has a bare spot and we probably trimmed too many lower branches off. But this tree was meant to be ours. Truth be told, this tree reminds me of my little family. We're a little different. Sometime we don't look like everyone around us. At times we have been overlooked, passed by, misjudged. That can hurt more that we let on. We have had "bare spots"...times that felt like we weren't going to make it financially, emotionally and probably a ton of other adverbs you want to chuck in there. Then there are those times when we remember that we are chosen, and we stand tall, even if we are leaning slightly, even if we might fall completely down once in a while. 

An old friend wrote recently about how we often only let people see what we want them to see. We photoshop the flaws, crop out the chaos, apply the filter that puts us in the best light. But what if we were just real? What if we let people see how we struggle, how we blow it at times, how we fail? Maybe then we wouldn't feel like we always miss "the mark" because the mark we are trying to live up to might not even be real.

So here it is...our perfectly imperfect Christmas tree. Right where it belongs in the middle of my livingroom. Reminding me that life isn't perfect, but beauty can still be found in imperfection.