I have had the undesirable and unrepeated "pleasure" of trying to back up our SUV while it was pulling our trailer. For all of you who are experts at doing this, I salute you. I, however, will never graduate from the National Tractor Trailer School because I will fail the "backing-up" test. For those of you who have never had the "treat" of attempting this, lets just say, to put it simply, all you have to do is take what you have learned about backing up a car, and do the exact opposite. So basically, while your brain is screaming at you to turn the steering wheel left, you have allow your brain to go into hibernation mode, and turn right. That is just so wrong! But, to back up your trailer from point A to point B, it's the only way (unless you unhitch it and push it yourself, which I have also done with much more accuracy).
I don't think that anyone likes for things to be wrong in their life. In a perfect world, life would be always happy, always sunny and always easy. Our human nature tends to seek the path of least resistance. No one ever requests the boat that rocks, the plane with the most turbulence, or shifting sand. (Unless it's at an amusement park, which is really nothing more than controlled chaos). The ironic thing is, sometimes those "perceived wrongs" in our life are really right. They are launching boards which move us when it would be so much easier just to stay where we are. They are catalysts that change our life's coordinates. They are defining moments that we, when we are finally able to distance ourselves from them, can look back and see that it was exactly what was needed at the time. The most difficult part is when we are in the midst of the "wrong" because it feels so, well, wrong. Many times, it is a person who is directly responsible for the "wrong", and because it goes against every fiber in our being that wants to maintain the status quo, we curse it, AND the person(s) associated with it. I have experience this over and over in my lifetime. I have been in a place that wasn't the intended place for me, and I was unsure of where I needed to be. I lacked the motivation to move myself. I feared stepping out blindly because even though I knew where I found myself was not the ultimate plan, it was visible and tangible, so it gave a false sense of security. Where I needed to be was fuzzy and unclear, and would have required a faith leap. I can say that each time before I was moved, I had said a prayer that went something like this: "HELP!!!" That's it. No flowery words, no fanfare. No reciting Psalm 23 from memory, no praying in tongues. Not even closing my eyes and bowing my head. No, those times were wide open cries from my innermost being that knew it wasn't where it needed to be and had no idea how to make a radical shift. They were probably the most sincere prayers I have ever prayed, because they consisted of complete acknowledgment that I had know idea what to do next, and utter surrender to the will of God for my life, placing everything I was in the hands of the One who created me, breathed life into my nostrils, and who is the architect of the plan called "my life".
Romans 8:26-27 says this:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
There are two things that I have learned from these experiences:
1. The more I allow myself to be moved and directed by God without dragging my heels, the less frustrated I am in the present AND the transition.
2. Never judge a book by it's cover. Wrong is only wrong if God says it's wrong. Feelings are not facts and even the most well intentioned person who we think should know better, sometimes makes the worst judge.
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