Yesterday

Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that we threw a ball in the backyard, weeded the garden, walked to the bottom of the gulley. I can still see you sitting with me at the kitchen table, helping me make sense of algebra, or putting together the radio you fixed. Just the other day I held the flashlight while you worked on the car, I danced on your shoes, I heard you belly laugh telling Grandpa's fish story, and singing us the story of Bessie from Pike...I remember acting like it was so awful when I would walking in on you and Mom kissing in the kitchen...but really, it was beautiful. And I'm sorry for being embarrassed of you when my friends were around because the truth is, when they all disappeared, you were always right there. Thanks for letting me hold your hand in church when the message went straight to my heart, convicting me of my bad choices. Thank you for all the times your cheered for me, believed in me, prayed for me. What would I have become without your gentleness, your compassionate heart, your loving hands? I'm glad I will never know.

I blinked and I was grown. I blinked again and you were gone. But all the millions of seconds in between were simply perfect. No, not perfect in the literal sense, but perfect nonetheless. I don't wish for you to be back, because I know this place can't even compare with where you are. I do wish, though, I could visit with you for just a moment or two. Are your hands still big? Do you still have that twinkle in your eye? Can I still feel the prickles when I kiss your cheek? Even without words, just to lay my head on your shoulder once more would be enough. One day, Dad, one day. Miss you more than I can explain. Love you more than words can express.  Though we are apart for a time, you are forever in my thoughts, just a memory away. Love you.