Our Grandfather's Yard

Lying on the cool green grass, looking up through the branches of the towering sugar maple trees, we were surrounded by the unmistakable fragrance of autumn. They were stately giants, adorned with flaming reds, burnt sienna, vibrant yellows and oranges. We watched, my sister and I, as the leaves fell, one by one...drifting and swirling...taken by a gentle breeze and sailing magically, down, down. We tried to catch these dancing beauties, only to have them flit and flutter above our heads, then be whisked away by the breath of fall. Out of our reach, we could almost hear them laughing as they eluded us...making their final journey to the earth. The lush yard was soon transformed into a radiant carpet of fallen jewels. We sprung to our feet and leapt from one leaf to another. Each snap and crackle beneath our shoes echoed in the otherwise peaceful silence of the country. We knew that this would only last for a season, and soon the cold winds would arrive, scattering our treasured leaves. The blankets of winter would come to tuck them in, ever so deeply, until they would mysteriously vanish. Never again would they display their hues in all their splendor. Even still, we played as carefree children, in the utopia of our Grandfather's yard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (This was written from my memories as a child in our Grandpa Kalisiewicz's yard, just next door, along with my best childhood buddy...my little sister.)

flan-atic

Luis reminded me at dinner tonight of our many negotiations that were agreed upon as we were moving from Arizona to South Carolina. The "Parra Treaties" were harden-fast pacts, that would be binding, once we took up our new residence. I was going to be a stay-at-home Mom, and homeschool Josh. Luis was going back to work after being Mr. Mom/college student for more than a year. I agreed to get up every week day and make breakfast and lunch for Luis. Well, I DO stay home with the boys, and homeschool now. And Luis HAS gone back to work. I also have kept up my weekday ritual of waking up before the roosters to make a hot breakfast and lunch for Luis. OK, these sound like normal everyday occurrences, I admit. But there was this one request, that Luis reminded me of tonight, that I had completely forgotten about. During our bargaining hours in Arizona, Luis slipped an "earmark" into one of his "bills"...that being: "the privilege of staying home with the kids needed to be counterbalanced by ensuring there was flan every Friday for dessert." For those of you who don't know what flan is, it's a traditional Mexican dessert made from eggs, sugar, and milk, much like a custard or a creme brule. Very rich and very fattening...yum! So yesterday, I happened to make a batch of it for dessert. The four helpings were devoured in one night...Two by Luis, and the other two by Josh! (Now I have another flan-atic in the the house!) Anyway, Luis informed me that I hadn't kept up my end of the flan bargain, but that he wouldn't hold it against me and I could begin tomorrow. Josh concurred with a "Mmmm...flan".

The lost art of imagination

What started out as an afternoon in the sprinkler, ended up as a mud bath! The boys made rivers zig and zag in the lawn. My little sis and I used to spend many hours playing outside, using nothing but our imaginations! We had some great adventures. I remember our secret spot, out by Grandpa's sugar plum trees, where we would pretend that the brick stacks were stoves and places of hidden treasure. We made our share of mud pies, and created forts in the field of tall weeds behind our house. Those great memories are priceless...

Lighten up!

Tonight, while being out in Hampton for soccer practice, we ran into an acquaintance who has a son the same age as Josh. In the course of the conversation, the mom said, "we need to have Josh overnight some weekend". To which I gave my prepared, (yet cordial) reply, "Well, we don't really do over-nighters." When she pushed the issue a little further, I told her that the only place that my kids are allowed to stay the night (other than their own home, of course), is at their Aunt's house in Hampton. The over enthusiastic mom informed me that I needed to, in her words, "Lighten up". My immediate thought was, "THAT, deary, is precisely why he won't be going over to your house", but I refrained. So I left it at, "well, we'll see". Last time I checked, our duty as a parent was to lead, protect, guide and shape our children, in the way that we, as parents, deem prudent. I lean more on the strict side, because I have learned it is much easier to let out a little more reign when appropriate, then to try to find the reigns when they have been released too fast, and are flailing wildly in the wind. I have also learned the hard way that there are consequences to every choice...positive or negative, and these consequences are like writing with indelible ink on the recesses of our hearts. While our children are small, they do not have the wherewithall to make these life altering choices for themselves. That is why we don't leave six year olds home alone, or allow three year olds to use anything sharp! Well, the car ride home was an interesting one, filled with pouting and anger on the part of Josh who, in his six year old mind, thinks "no" is the end of his world. I told Josh that Dad and I would have to discuss the issue, but I felt pretty sure that he would not be spending the night at any one's house, except allowed family. So Josh, being the go-getter that he is, raced up the stairs to the front porch where he intercepted his Dad, and started to list all the reasons why he wanted to spend the night at his friend's house. Luis listened for about five minutes, then he gave a definitive "no". We then spent the next 15 minutes telling Josh that even though he doesn't understand or agree, we have the responsibility to make decisions based on what is best for him, and not based on what others feel is right. Not an easy concept for a six year old.

I had a nice conversation with my Mom tonight, and I told her about this situation. It reminded me of the strict rules I had growing up. Many of them which I didn't understand, but being the law of the land (Kellishland), I went along with. Not always happily, and not always quietly, but went along with, nevertheless. My parents had such wisdom...and there was no floundering on what they thought or said. They were often judged by acquaintances in their community, but stood their ground and held to their convictions. As an adult, I so appreciate the standard that they strove to instill in us, even though I may not have, as a child.

So I told Luis about the "lighten up" comment. And, as often occurs with English (Spanish) sayings, they don't translate very well. We are used to translating them for each other at a drop of a hat. I told him it was like saying, "don't take life so seriously". As I listened to the words roll off my tongue, I was struck by the power of that statement. And the reality of that statement. Life IS serious. Everyday, there is a battle going on for people's souls, children's' minds, marriages...as a parent, I think almost daily about the charge that I have been given to raise my children in a Godly way, and that I will someday give an account for what I did and didn't do, when they were young and in my care. I believe one of the enemy's greatest desires is to lull us into a false belief that "everything is OK, so sit back and relax!" Too many people have lightened up so much that they have lost priceless ground in their community and in their homes. Life is too short, too precious, and too fragile to take it too lightly. I probably won't be receiving the Mom-of-the-year award from my children as long as my "no" counters their, "Can I do, go, have", etc, etc, etc. And in case you are still wondering, other than the results from my aerobics and healthy dieting, I won't be "lightening up" on many other issues any time in this decade.

~~~

Words to live and love by:

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6(niv)

Endless summer days

Well, school has been in session for four weeks already, but summer has not officially ended. We still have the pool up and running, and sprinklers ready at a moments notice. With temperatures continuing to be in the mid 90s, the kids are glad there are ways to cool off!