Out of the Box

Something has been stirring in my heart lately, and it seems like where ever I turn, I am hearing the reverberation of this message. In the world, we are often bombarded with "social norms". These all-encompassing rules and "standards" that are constantly shifting and evolving to meet the politically correct attitudes of the day. I am often amazed at how these stances have so rapidly distanced themselves from everything Godly, everything Biblical, everything that the Lord considers to be good and right and pure. Many of these "social norms" are in direct conflict with the Word of God, and therefore cause me, as a follower of God, to cringe when I see them embraced, defended and on display in the public square.

This, ironically, isn't what has me blogging like a mad woman this morning. After all, God alerts us that the darkness will get darker, even while the light gets brighter (Romans 5:20-21). What really has been leaving a horrible taste in my mouth is when I see people use their own Godly personal convictions and try to make them law for everyone.

I am not typically a person who enjoys stepping on toes or making people feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, I have always been one who tried to console, extend compassion and encourage. That being said, I hope you can listen to these words from my heart, without taking offense if my examples hit home. The issues of child rearing, marriage and the woman's role in the household, and women in the church are the first three that come to mind. Let me be the first to say that I have not arrived in any of these areas. I have struggles as I am sure many of you do, and sometimes it is difficult to know exactly what God's perfect plan is for me, my marriage and my children. Not everything in the Bible is black and white. In fact, there seems to be more gray than anything else. The black and white areas are easy. You really have to stretch to misinterpret "do not murder" or "do not commit adultery". But to decide whether to work or be a homemaker or whether to publicly educate or home school are not so clear. I know some of you who have strong convictions about these topics may be feeling your blood pressure rise a bit. To that I have this to say: I applaud your fervor, your passion, your dedication. But then I would also add, please extend to others the same privilege God extended to you, that allowed you to seek God's plan for your life. And hopefully, you did just that!

Early in my marriage, many people offered advice as to how Luis and I needed to live, how we should act, and what our marriage should look like. I even had people tell me that I was in rebellion because I didn't follow their Godly counsel and their plan for my marriage. (I really wish I was joking!!). I have had people shun me like a leper when I told them I home schooled and then had homeschooling moms treat me like I was abusing my kids when I sent them to public school. When my husband stayed home with the boys for a year, worked on the weekends and studied online courses during the week, he received looks like he wasn't performing his "husbandly duty" while staying home (with our boys) Monday through Friday, and allowing me to worked 40+ hours a week outside of the home. I have heard people belittle a stay at home mom's worth, as well as others ride a mom who feels it best for her family to go to work. I have witness first hand the opinion that somehow you are more righteous and holy simply by wearing a skirt rather than pants, or choosing the natural look rather than the Mary Kay makeover. The lists goes on and on! (Is your head spinning yet?)

Why am I saying all this? I am hoping that I have struck a nerve, especially in the camp of those who are in the position of expressing what they believe is "God's best" for other people's lives. Here's my approach: If God in His immense wisdom decided NOT to make certain issues black and white, then who am I (or you), mere dust, to try and make a law where it was never intended. To take it one step further, when we follow other people's rules for our life and family, we then take a passive, legalistic role in life. It is easier to just sit back and let others tell us what we should be doing. It takes real active faith to pray and seek the Lord for his way for our individual circumstances. I remember when I first started to home school Joshua. I knew I needed to be doing it for the right reasons, not simply because people said it was the right thing to do. I had to wade through opinions and cut right to the nitty-gritty. After spending much time in prayer, I heard the Lord tell me that what I was feeling about homeschooling Josh was right for me at that time. He also deposited the word "mobile" in my spirit. I felt a peace with that and dove in with my whole heart. I had a word from the Lord for my child and my situation. During the third year of homeschooling, our family was uprooted and moved to another part of the state right in the middle of second grade. It was then that the word "mobile" came back to me, and I understood how God sees the end from the beginning and has a plan for my individual life. Josh's schooling was not disrupted, and he was able to study and learn right through the move, finishing on time. We recently took a giant leap away from a denomination (turned in Pastoral credentials) where legalism still triumphs in many circles. We felt that our personal integrity and the fresh move of God were both too precious to just leave to sit on the back burner, while we waited and hoped that someday God's people would listen to God and rise up from yesterday's altars in pursuit of today's fresh manna. Some people are called to stay and be the catalyst for change. Others are called to get up and move on towards the change that God has. After much prayer, we knew that we were of the latter group and not the former. Many didn't understand or agree. Even leaders, who should have understood it, didn't.

Here are a few things I have learned along my journey that I would love to share:
(Please keep in mind when I talk about making decisions, I am referring to those areas that are NOT black and white in the Bible.)

No one knows what's better for you than God. Seek His face, His hand, His path, and don't give up until you find it! (It might take more than five minutes! Hang in there-you'll find it!)

God wants us to know Him...really KNOW him. Not just head knowledge that we can learn from studying what he has done for someone else (although that can be very encouraging), but a heart knowledge that only comes from studying His word, praying, and spending time in His presence. Don't rely on others to give you what God wants to give you Himself! Sometimes God will use others, but most of the time he wants us to come to Him directly!

Being legalistic is really nothing more than being lazy...relying on other people to set guidelines and seek the Lord for us rather than taking an active role for our self. Never be afraid to seek God's answer for your own life. After all we are His sheep, and He is our shepherd. You CAN hear God's voice. It takes time and practice...the more you practice, the better you get at it!

Many times when people try to place their convictions on you, they are actually trying to find approval from people (power in numbers) rather than being fulfilled in knowledge that they have God's approval. As human beings, we tend to think that the majority is always right...nothing could be father from the truth.

When you say phrases like "God told me" or "God spoke to me"...know that the people who give you strange, doubting looks are usually those who have never heard from God because they haven't taken the time to try. Unless of course, "God told you" to do something that is contrary to the black and white parts of scripture. Then their looks might be right on the money.

"And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free" Romans 8:32