I Give Myself Away

As we sang this song in church yesterday, the Lord began to speak to my heart. The face value meaning of this song is so valuable: we do need to give our lives to God and His purposes so that He can use us. God is never going to force us to yield to His will for our life. It must be a choice that we make. Only we can place our life in His hands. My deep desire is to be used by God. To follow Him completely. To be that light to the world that He calls us to be. But the more I sang, the more I heard a subtle truth the Lord wanted me to capture. "I give myself away, so you can use me", the song says.  My goal is for the Lord to use me, but according to this song, (and scripture) until I give my self away, it won't happen. Myself. My SELF. Self can easily be translated into flesh. That part in me that rears it's ugly head every once in a while, or maybe more often than that some days. It's the part of my character that opposes the will of God. Anything in me that contradicts God's word is flesh. Many times we talk of people walking in the "flesh" and it brings instant pictures to our mind of spot-light loving, proud, puffed up egotistical people who are only concerned with fulfilling their own desires are receiving accolades from everyone in their sphere of influence. I can say, without hesitation, that I am not one of those types of people. In fact, the polar opposite is probably a better picture of who I really am. I prefer to be in the background. I am more quiet and reserved. A good listener. Better one on one than in groups. But these characteristics of myself, if allowed to rule my life, are just another face of "flesh". It's a face that can be hidden easily from people, and disguised to look like humility. But many times, it is nothing more than knowing what God wants to do in and through you, but deciding that you aren't capable, talented or savvy enough to do it. We look at our own abilities and feel very incompetent. We wonder what we could possible contribute to God's big plan. And then, without even realizing it, we have disqualified ourselves completely. But remember what I said about flesh: it's anything that contradicts the word of God in our life. A defeated person is definitely not one that God can use. Or maybe more accurately, is not going to place themselves in a place where God can use them.

God has been stretching me in new ways lately. It feels a little uncomfortable because I haven't walked this path before, but deep inside I feel like it's right where I need to be walking. So I am at a crossroads. I can stay on the familiar path that is paved with security and comfort, or I can choose the path where each step is faith and takes me out of my comfort zone for a greater purpose. The second path is where my heart desires to go. It all comes down to this question: Am I willing to give my SELF away, so He can use me?