Perspective

One thing I have learned in the twelve years that Luis and I have been married, is that perspective is everything! During our first four years of trials and turmoil, we were so discontent with the cities/towns we lived in, the jobs we had, and pretty much everything else around us. We let our own problems and the circumstances all around us rob us of any joy that we could have had. Nothing made us happy, and after a while, we even started turning on each other. Instead of working hard to make in indestructible team of three (him, me, and God), we were a frayed rope, ready to break apart under the pressure. All the finger pointing didn't matter. We were both guilty of not putting our marriage in the highest priority, after our personal relationships with God. As newlyweds, we made LOTS of mistakes...lots of trial and error...lots of running round and round the same mountain over and over again. It really didn't have much to do with being from a different culture, although that can bring challenges of its own. Mostly, it had to do with not getting the right perspective on what our mission in life was, and what God wanted. Bottom line, we were selfish, and were holding on to many things that we thought we needed for survival, which really turned out to be the very things we needed to put aside to be truly content. Arizona was a clean slate...a fresh beginning. We were very fortunate to have the opportunity to start over. It is not always so easy to just leave your whole life behind and say, "OK, do-over"! It was scary, exciting, sad, and joyous...all rolled up into one. When we got to Arizona, we rented a room in a house from a couple in the church that we were attending. We had nothing but a little savings. We had no jobs. The only family were some extended relatives on Luis's side, that he really didn't know. Basically, we were alone...just where God needed us to be...away from the distractions...away from the chaos...away. How many times in the Bible did God tell people to get away...so He could talk to them. Most of the time, that is how it was, and so with us. Before, we were so consumed with everything else, that God's voice was, in essence, inaudible...but not by any fault of His. Out in Arizona, we found ourselves in the desert (literally and figuratively)...a place of wide open skies, vast fields of sand...and silence. No more distractions...no more noise...and we were desperate to hear from God. For the first time, we learned to seek God as a couple, two people with a common vision...which at first was merely just to stay together! Life was not easy (nor did we expect it to be) and a few times, we reenacted the Israelites in the desert, grumbling about leaving Egypt! We both struggled to find work, to pay for our bills that followed us to Arizona. At one point, Luis started working in the produce fields, picking broccoli, just to have some kind of money coming in. Thankfully, that only lasted three days, and he was then hired at a golf course in the foothills, just outside of Yuma. I later found a heavenly job (that I stayed at for the whole six years we were there) that was even better than what I left in South Carolina. Little by little we were getting back on our feet financially. We were learning how to make decisions based on what we felt were best for our little family of two, with only the Lord's help. Somewhere in the middle of those six years, a tight friendship formed between Luis and I. I can't say there was one specific time or place that made it happen. It was just constant walking, praying, and helping each other...spurring one another on, and keeping our eyes fixed to the only One that could ever restore something..or rather, create something, out of nothing. No, life wasn't perfect, and it still wasn't without trials. But for the first time in our lives, those trials didn't knock us flat on our backsides every time they reared their ugly heads. Six years passed like a blink...a brand new house, and wonderful church family just across the border in Mexico, and two children later, Luis began to feel a pull back to South Carolina. I have to admit, my first reaction was a flat out "NO WAY, NO HOW, NO!!!". Life had been so positive in Arizona, and South Carolina only had memories of all the hurts and bad times that we had left behind. "Why would I ever want to return to the place that almost ruined us??" I expressed very matter-of-factly to Luis. In these six years, we had learned that we needed to really turn everything over to the Lord, and allow Him to lead us. Luis simply told me, just pray, and we'll talk about it in the future. He too had learned how to wait on the Lord, and the mysterious way that the Lord can turn a heart when needed. It was a year from the time that Luis first felt that we were supposed to return to South Carolina, until we actually did it. I can honestly say that God changed my heart. My reasons for not wanting to return were purely out of fear, not out of faith. Two months before we moved back, we walked into our church in Mexico and read the banner that was placed that week on the wall, right smack dab in from of the church above the altar...translated into English, it read, "2006, The year of restoration". Luis and I just smiled at each other, not needing to say a word. By this time, we had already both come to the same decision that we needed to go back to South Carolina. I had already told my boss of our plans, (that were not yet set completely), in order to give ample time for someone to be trained in my place. At this point, Luis was already at home with the boys Monday through Friday, taking correspondence courses for a degree in small engine mechanics, and working his own landscaping company on the weekends. We were able to purchase our five and a half acres and a mobile home in S.C., using the equity in our home in Arizona. We left Arizona in June of 2006 and put our home in Arizona on the market, just as the housing bubble burst and the market came to a screeching halt. The second week we were here, Luis found a job, in his field, for the exact salary we needed to pay both mortgages and all the rest of our bills, while still allowing me to stay home with the boys...something I desired to do since Josh was born, but financially was not able. Six months later, in the middle of the housing freeze, our little 1000 square foot home sold for double what we paid for it just five years earlier, covering both the remainder of the initial mortgage as well as the home equity loan we took to buy the land in S.C. Luis found an even better job, closer to home, better benefits, with a Christian boss, and he has been there one year this month. We live just minutes from Hampton, a town that we lived in prior to our move to Arizona. When we lived in S.C. before, I hated Hampton!! Nothing here made me happy. Ah...perspective...I was miserable inside...thus miserable outside as well! Now, even though this town has MANY things that are inherently wrong...segregation of blacks and whites even to this day, (if you can believe that...come on..it's 2008 for goodness sake!!!), the small town good ol' boy system still is the law of the land, the Hampton County Grapevine thrives...I could go on and on...but all in all, we are happy here. I do believe that now, I could live just about anywhere, and have joy. Perspective is a mysterious thing. The Lord gave us a wonderful year to spend with Luis's father, (Abuelito Tomas), before his passing in June of this year. We were able to go home to New York for the 50th anniversary of my parents this past May, something that would have been very difficult to do had we lived in Arizona still. The Lord is continuing to unfold His plan to us for S.C., little by little. We are excited just to be where God wants us. Our perspective has been adjusted so that we can begin to see a little clearer into God's 20/20 vision for our lives. We don't take anything for granted anymore, and have learned to appreciate even the littlest things...Saturdays at a soccer game...picking blueberries...quiet, peaceful nights at home.